What's your in-hand salary?
Do you have a car?
Do you have a flat of your own?
Well, these are the most important questions for a prospective groom in an arranged marriage setting, as if answering these would decide how the rest of the marriage conversation would go. I mean, a more independent person is supposed to take care of an 'independent, courageous woman' for the rest of her life. Agreed, it is important! But, the problem starts here.
"Do you want a bai or wife?" Dear women, if someone just asked you whether you know cooking or not, it does not mean he wants a maid.
And we all being in our late twenties have mastered the art of cooking in some ways, I mean it is not rocket science after all, most men know how to cook these days.
Can we be friends for six months and then decide? 'Friends', I hate this word. I mean this is an arranged marriage system, it has its pros and cons, we all have baggage from our own experiences that didn't work and so we chose the simpler option of going for an arranged marriage, just why do you want to add more complexity in this situation?
I guess with experience, a person gets a clearer picture of his or her expectations and the most important thing here is to be honest with each other right at the beginning. No need to involve everybody in the process and inform the whole society that we are seeing each other and then getting confused.
I guess the right to be confused is her birth right and as a true gentleman, you have to bear the expectations of her parents. You need to make their daughter fall in love within two or three meetings. I am forward yet traditional, such hypocrisy!
We all have been a part of the story, which is wonderful — the story of our parents — and I am sure that for most part of it, it was not a fairy tale. But, it taught us some very important aspects, like relationships work on trust, sacrifice, and love.
"I am a free bird, I like to do what I want, there should be no pressure to work after marriage, I would like to work till a point." Well this 'free bird' concept is something that I am unable to understand. Are we really free, free of all our responsibilities? How about if a guy says, he would like to leave his stable job and do a startup or he just wants to travel the world for a year.
Life is long enough to do everything but it requires planning and dedicated efforts of both partners to achieve their goals. That is how our parents were able to support us in all aspects till we were able to stand on our own two feet.
By now, I have met many girls, some were super excited; some really wanted a long term commitment before even starting anything, they had serious trust issues. If we just flip the coin, super excited men are termed as jerks "chaep kahin ka", and if we ask for time, we are termed as non-serious — somebody who just wants to sleep with you, "flirt kahin ka".
What I really look for in my life partner is someone, who says she'd like to buy a car for her parents rather than for herself. After all, we are all that our parents have. It is very important to realise that they are old now and they need the care, that we need to provide. I haven't met a single woman who had such thoughts!
I need someone, who understands that even boys are scared of the whole process and who takes an initiative to make him feel comfortable rather than just solely relying on the guy. A few comforting and encouraging words won't hurt, irrespective of the outcome.
I would love someone, who realises that additional responsibilities are bound to be shared by both partners. After all, I do like to get married only once and that too for the rest of my life till death parts us.
